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| Scottish Charity no. SC030626 Company no. SC212660 |
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A letter from an addicted young man to his doctor Dear-------- This is a letter from, probably, the last person in the world that you would expect. Before you think about crumpling this letter up and throwing it in the bin, please read on, because it might surprise and, I hope, help you and others. First of all, I am sorry that I lost my temper with you on the phone the other day. I was wrong and acted irresponsibly, so please accept my apology. The reason, not excuse, why I acted like that was out of frustration. I feel that you may think that I automatically think that I should be front of the queue in the N H S. You made me feel unimportant. I was crying out for help. I had held a knife at my throat four days before the phone call, wanting to die. I was mentally and physically nearly finished, but I knew that my gran, who has had, probably, more than fifteen years of sleepless nights, and who also nursed my grandfather till his death last year, was standing with hope for me. I have brought this on myself, so do I deserve to die, get locked up and drive everybody that loves me to misery and pain? Drug addiction affects a lot of people; the user, the family, crime victims and others. I understand that it is your responsibility to treat drug addicts. One of the greatest things you could prescribe isn't a drug, it's called self esteem. There is no bitterness, on my part, in what I am going to say, but you make me feel that I am begging for help and you make your point that you are in control. Why should Gary be on the phone pestering you when you have real work to do. First of all, though, you took responsibility for dealing with drug addicts. Secondly, we are talking about life and death situations, misery and depression for more than one, two or even three people concerned. If you are a doctor, just think about it, because when you maybe knock somebody's self esteem, they might never ask for help again. They might overdose, slit their wrists and die! I am writing this, not for my own benefit, as I am starting recovery. A miracle happened, and I am the luckiest man in the world, as far as I am concerned. Please don't judge people. Methadone isn't the answer. Don't interrogate drug users, speak to them like human beings. If they muck up they are harming themselves .Don't shun them for failure. Make them, instead, to feel safe to talk ,and cry, because truth can come out of failure. I hope that you are not offended by my letter, as I have written this, not as Gary the junkie, but Gary who is back walking with God. Please consider what I have said as I am trying to speak from genuine experience. I never felt safe in your surgery. You and you staff seemed to have so much power over me and this made it impossible for me to trust you with my feelings. I needed to release all the badness and the guilt that was destroying me but nobody understood that the root of the sickness needs to be released from inside ,so it is essential that drug patients feel safe ,so that they can find healing, not necessarily with pills and more pills. I was left feeling completely worthless every time I left your surgery. Please don't let this put you off, because I am trying to help you with some of my own insights as a former drug addicted person. Even if this helps one or two people, then at least some good will have come from my efforts. I sincerely hope that what I have written will be helpful to you. God bless, Gary |